We LoVE YOU.

Today, it was two years since Matt passed on.

Each time I stop and think of him, I feel him directly in the center of my heart and that feeling expands outward in radiant joy and love. Our deep friendship fills me with so much gratitude and I can feel him so vividly even if he's not there. That's the beauty of having loved so fully. I sit still sometimes and can feel his hands in my hands, I can hear him talking to me and I can see his loving and glowing blue eyes. It's so comforting to know that he is always there whenever I need him. And that is the power and freedom in dealing with losing a loved one. We can choose to see and feel their presence in our life as being limitless and living outside of time or space. We can be with them any time we want.

And he inspires me so much still. Every LoVE pin I see or memory of what a genuine and generous friend he was, reminds me of the beauty of being present and being love. He was just that. I still ask myself, What would Matt do?, because whatever the answer, I know it will be in Love.

Below is a video created by his sister Jess of all of the lives he touched with his sign, all of the LoVE he spread and continues to spread. And because his LoVE sign was inspired by his love for Dave Matthews, I also included the dedication Dave made to him at a show shortly after.

We LoVE You, Matt and we thank you for how you touched all of our lives with your bright spirit.

Love is You.

Human Environment

I've been listening to Ram Dass talks on CD recently, and have found them really inspiring.

Yesterday, in a talk called, Being Free Together, he was talking about what we as humans are for each other. He said (and i paraphrase) that what we are to each other, is an environment. Who we are creates an environment around each one of us for each other to step into.

This had me asking myself, what is my environment? What am I doing to take care of my environment? What are people stepping into when they're in my environment?

While this concept and these questions aren't completely new to me, I was very inspired by a new way of looking at this question of Who I'm Being in the world through imagining my space as an environment. How do I show up? How well do I maintain my ever-changing environment? Does pollution cloud this moment or that moment? Am I providing warmth to those who cross my path, or a cool shade?

Not only am I concerned with what I provide for others, but also the kind of space I allow for Spirit to come through. So much of the reason I, we, commit to doing work on ourselves is to clear up our environment so that Spirit can move through us more easily and allow us to be of better service. How well am I keeping my space clean for God (Spirit) to come through?

And how about the environment of others? How much do we stop and appreciate the environment others create and maintain for us? And also, how do we keep others' more undesirable weather out of our space?

I actually just had a night this past weekend where I saw a "tornado" up ahead, and I was aware of what that tornado could do to my environment, and how that would effect how I showed up for others. So, I chose to let that tornado know it was not permitted into my space and I summoned all the strength I could as it went right by me. I was not moved or scratched, and everything was intact.

So, I ask you...what does your environment look like, feel like? What do people get to step into when they are in your presence? What gifts does your environment offer - a peaceful breeze? a passionate fire? A limitless landscape? And how do others show up for you? Do you appreciate the environments they offer? Do you know how to protect yourself when their storms want to disturb your environment?

Love is being aware of your environment and tending to it for yourself, Spirit and others.

Love Ambassa-door

"The things we tend to keep hidden from others offer us potential doorways into deeply intimate experiences."

I just read this off of someone's facebook photo caption...and was instantly inspired to write.

This quote reminded me of an experience I had at Burning Man this year. A new friend I'd just met, shared that when he looked at me, the word Ambassador came to mind. An Ambassa-door he said...a door wide open to both receive and to give love. An Ambassador...a messenger of this love.

Lately I've been aware of when I'm not being this open door, and instead, I am up against a wall of fear, hiding who I am. This quote speaks directly to that part of me that naturally wants to be open and free...as we all do, and recognizes that there is this threshold to cross when fear is present. I know that who I am is just beyond that threshold...beyond that moment when i step from fear of showing who i really am to loving, embracing and being who i really am...and ALL that's possible in that moment. That is when my heart truly gets to lead me...when I step out of fear into love.

What's the result? The result is a really juicy, loving, deep moment of connection - with another, with the soul, and with the divine. YUM! Why would I ever want to hide?! In those moments of stepping through fear, something gets unleashed and comes out to play. Breakthroughs occur, inspired thoughts and actions occur, deep listening occurs, and joy occurs!

So, whenever the Fear creeps in and tries to tell me that I am a wall, what I've been practicing instead is being a door that lets Love in and gives Love out. A Love Ambassa-door. One who is leading with a message of Love, just by being that Love. Its all a practice, and it's already perfect.

Love is hitting a wall of Fear and creating an open door to Love.

Dreamy LoVE.

So...it finally happened...after 15 years of dreaming about it :)



It was so fulfilling to look deeply into the eyes of a man who has had so much influence on my life, on my relationships with friends and family, on my music, and on my perspective...and to say thank you.

I remember when Matt first met Dave at a festival in Vegas...I was SO freakin excited for him...and the story of their meeting was so special. Dave actually went up to Matt and thought he knew him, but wasn't sure how. Matt unfolded his LoVE sign, and that's when Dave realized who he was.

The second time he met him was with my sister (with me in the picture) at Madison Square Garden in NYC. I remember feeling so happy for them, but also quite ENVIOUS!!! I remember Matt telling me it just wasn't my time, but my time was coming, and that I would meet him as a musician one day. And that's what happened.

I could feel Matt so strongly that day I met Dave. I went to the spot earlier in the day where we used to go together and where I always feel is a beautiful place to connect with him- the meditation gardens in Encinitas. I sat in love and gratitude for our ever present connection, and for the experience I'd be having later that evening. As I got up off the bench, I asked Matt to walk with me the rest of the night...to come to the show with me, to meet Dave with me, to dance with me! And I felt that he did :)

Its such a beautiful feeling to be in so much joy and celebration for the times I had with my friend while he was here, and to really have that feeling so alive even without him standing next to me.

So, I just want to say thank you to Matt, for helping this happen - because I know he had a hand in it, and it was because of his LoVE that it was even a possibility at this time.

Standing in LoVE with Dave, while it was magical and dreamy, it also felt familiar and natural, like standing with an old friend. His presence was gracious, loving, nurturing, and well...present! And...it felt like it wouldn't be the last time we'll be standing together, in LoVE.


x

Love is keeping the dream alive.

Gratitude.

"Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow." -Melodie Beattie

The great river of abundance has been flowing through my life recently, and I am sitting in all the delicious beauty of gratitude. This, not only feels like the deepest way to accept the abundance that comes, but also the way to keep it flowing. I have realized recently, that in the past, the river of abundance has almost frightened me. It almost became too much at times, that I jumped out of the river, and watched it all flow by without me.

What I'm getting today is that I deserve to let it flow through me, we ALL do, and it WANTS to! This is the way of life, this the flow and the rhythm of our world. And I'm learning how to sit in constant gratitude for what I receive, feeling the beautiful relationship and exchange of giver and receiver, and allowing more of it to come. As my friend Josh titled his new film, "happythankyoumoreplease," I've come to use this as my mantra :)

I've also been seeing my life as an open road. I have been imagining every day, that my life is a clear open road, and at the end is this beautiful golden light. Each day, I move closer to that light, which is the light of my soul and love being expressed fully, and where I can move through this world with much lighter steps, and more able to give of my light and my love. And then again, another light will appear at the end of another open road.

These past two years have been rich with lessons, hardships and successes, losses and gains, change, growth, movement....transformation. I feel as if I'm on the verge of things just finally clicking into place, an upshift being engaged and my wings spreading out further to fly.

And this is my wish for all beings.

To evolve, grow, change, so as to cause an impact on our world, making it a yummy, loving, peaceful, beautiful place to live. And I don't mean you have to stop everything and commit yourself to saving the planet or ending world hunger - although, if you feel so called, by all means! - but rather its the inward journey that reflects outward, allowing you to hear your own unique calling and BE LOVE in your life.

Its simple, really. And I believe we're getting it. And I believe it starts with Love and it starts with Gratitude. And we're all doing a great job as we move through this era of transformation together. So remember to smile, and say thank you...and more please!

Love is being grateful for and allowing the great River of Abundance to flow through you!

In Love.

in the moment I held you,
I could feel everywhere you've been
and everywhere you're going.

we lived a whole lifetime together,
in that moment,
in love,
whole & complete.

love is: opening your heart to infinity.

Waves of LoVE.

Another wave of LoVE has been taken into the shore, and here I am again, spotting the next one...fully ready for whatever it may bring.

This new wave started this past week, as it marked the one year anniversary of Matt's passing, specifically yesterday, June 6th. Yet, I strongly felt his presence with me all week long, and I wasnt' the only one...

Matt's love is really being honored and felt by the Dave Matthews Band community so much right now. The traveling LoVE sign is in full effect, being sent to each city on the tour, by dedicated fans continuing to spread their LoVE for the band, for life, and for each other.

Dave has walked on stage twice now, grabbing a LoVE sign from a fan, and holding it up onstage himself. He and Stefan have been wearing LoVE buttons, and Dave has spoken of Matt this week, mentioning him after a song called Granny, which is all about LoVE.





There is something big happening with Matt's LoVE. Its amazing to watch the blossoming of this movement, that started deep within Matt's soul, a seed of LoVe and light and courageous sharing! Now, it is bringing thousands of people so much joy, connection and celebration!!

Our world is evolving so rapidly right now. Love is growing. It is happening in many forms, in many ways, in many communities all over the world. I am grateful to be a part of this LoVE ripple, and I am grateful that you are too.

And there is so much ahead...so much more sharing, giving, growing, and celebrating in this Spirit of LoVE, and I'm excited to think of all we can do!

This week, I was thinking so much of Matt's life. He led a simple life. He worked for a packaging company, he kept a clean and minimal house, he made phone calls, wrote emails, planned trips to connect with those he loved. He was so present to life, and so present to his love for others. His life was not extraordinary seeming from the outside. When asked what he "wanted to be when he grew up,' he didn't have any big plans to change the world, or make a mark through any kind of big dream. His biggest dreams were about sitting in temples in the sacred lands of Bhutan, and about continuing to follow his love for DMB.

I am reflecting now on how his simple life of love is a greater contribution to humanity than anyone could have ever dreamed of! For him, I believe deep inside, he had a sense of his purpose, however, not knowing how it would all turn out.

I remember the day he asked me what I thought about making a sign that said LoVE on it and bringing it into the show. He told me had seen it in a meditation. He had seen himself holding his LoVE sign, and I believe, it was then that he caught a glimpse of the impact he would one day be making in the world.



Thank you, Matt, for believing in your LoVE and your vision, and doing so with such purpose and grace.

You are an inspiration to many, and we honor you through our continued efforts of LoVE!


dave matthews holding a fan's LoVe sign, June 2010 in Toronto