it has arrived, the day when all of my things are again in one place.
for almost the past two years, my belongings have been scattered. friends' basements, garages and one cold storage unit in los angeles have kept my things, while i traipsed from house to house, city to city, couch to couch. i have felt much movement beneath my feet these past two years. i am happy today to feel grounded in a perfect space of my own.
sifting through boxes of things in my joyous unpacking this evening, i came across old cards from friends and family with such beautiful letters inside. there was so much expressed on every inch of space, so much love and gratitude.
i was actually catching up with one of those old friends earlier today and after our conversation, i began to look at all the beautiful friendships in my life. i thought back to the time when they all began, when we attracted each other to each other, with genuine magnetism. none of us could've imaged where our journeys would take us, and we couldn't see the deeper attraction at the time, yet felt it was so powerful, special, cosmic :)
as my friends and close family are blossoming on their profound paths, i see these common threads illuminated even more. we were brought together for a reason, and we are supporting each other in these times of awakening.
i feel so blessed to have so many loving friends and family relationships in my life and to have their words, preserved on paper, from the various stages of time.
Love is...honoring and nurturing our sacred relationships.
Saturday, January 30, 2010
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
celebration!
this past weekend was magical.
there were 7 of us extraordinary beings gathered together in the mountains of snowy park city, utah for the experience of friendship, film, music, nature, shared dreaming and a deepening of our divine connection.
each one of us went there without expectation and received just the perfect gifts.
on our way back, we drove to Kolob Canyons - a part of Zion National Park - to find Matt's point. for those who aren't aware, Matt used to come to these canyons a few times a year with his meditation group. there was a spot on a certain rock that he chose again and again to be his space for meditation. he nicknamed it "the mothership."
though the road to the trailhead was closed, we stopped at the farthest most point we could reach and posed with our LOVE sign in Matt's memory.
i could feel him there with us, in the majestic orange and white snow covered faces of the rock. in the stillness of the park. it was powerful and perfect, and one of many pilgrimages to this sacred place, i'm sure.
this time, we were happy to jump for LOVE in celebration of one of the most beautiful individuals to walk the earth!!
and to jump for each other and this extraordinary life we are creating one amazing moment at a time!!
LOVE is, celebrating life!
there were 7 of us extraordinary beings gathered together in the mountains of snowy park city, utah for the experience of friendship, film, music, nature, shared dreaming and a deepening of our divine connection.
each one of us went there without expectation and received just the perfect gifts.
on our way back, we drove to Kolob Canyons - a part of Zion National Park - to find Matt's point. for those who aren't aware, Matt used to come to these canyons a few times a year with his meditation group. there was a spot on a certain rock that he chose again and again to be his space for meditation. he nicknamed it "the mothership."
though the road to the trailhead was closed, we stopped at the farthest most point we could reach and posed with our LOVE sign in Matt's memory.
i could feel him there with us, in the majestic orange and white snow covered faces of the rock. in the stillness of the park. it was powerful and perfect, and one of many pilgrimages to this sacred place, i'm sure.
this time, we were happy to jump for LOVE in celebration of one of the most beautiful individuals to walk the earth!!
and to jump for each other and this extraordinary life we are creating one amazing moment at a time!!
LOVE is, celebrating life!
Thursday, January 14, 2010
affirmations
a couple days ago, i had my finger on the delete button for this blog.
a gazillion reasons started popping up about what i'd created and was putting out there.
i thought maybe i hadn't thought about it enough, created enough vision.
maybe i was sounding too preachy or naive or maybe i was exposing too much of myself.
perhaps i should have spent more time crafting my writing before i started releasing my words.
i felt so vulnerable, and i felt like i wanted to crawl into somewhere safe, and where no one was reading my blog.
i started listening to all those little voices in my head and they sounded so judgmental, so fearful, so serious.
who am i to be writing about LOVE?
that was one of them - and one of the loudest, actually.
that's when i realized this is exactly what i should be doing then.
because i am love, as we all are, and i am worthy of writing about love.
so, when those less-friendly voices come up, i choose to say instead:
i am worthy of writing about love.
i am beautifully expressing my thoughts and experiences about life.
i am a brilliant creator, perfectly creating my world.
...and on and on with positivity and kindness.
Love is being kind to yourself, removing self-judgment, and reminding yourself how amazing you really are!
a gazillion reasons started popping up about what i'd created and was putting out there.
i thought maybe i hadn't thought about it enough, created enough vision.
maybe i was sounding too preachy or naive or maybe i was exposing too much of myself.
perhaps i should have spent more time crafting my writing before i started releasing my words.
i felt so vulnerable, and i felt like i wanted to crawl into somewhere safe, and where no one was reading my blog.
i started listening to all those little voices in my head and they sounded so judgmental, so fearful, so serious.
who am i to be writing about LOVE?
that was one of them - and one of the loudest, actually.
that's when i realized this is exactly what i should be doing then.
because i am love, as we all are, and i am worthy of writing about love.
so, when those less-friendly voices come up, i choose to say instead:
i am worthy of writing about love.
i am beautifully expressing my thoughts and experiences about life.
i am a brilliant creator, perfectly creating my world.
...and on and on with positivity and kindness.
Love is being kind to yourself, removing self-judgment, and reminding yourself how amazing you really are!
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
In joy!
"Your joy factor will remain constant as you are continually refining your ideas of what you want, and that's why it is so important for you to get everybody else out of the equation. They've got their own game going on; they don't understand your game. Give them a break; stop asking them what they think. Start paying attention to how you feel. Joy will be yours immediately, and everything else that you have ever thought would make you happy, will start flowing, seemingly effortlessly, into your experience."
~Abraham "Hicks"
I saw this reminder, and I wanted to share it with you.
Today, I'm feeling that Love is cultivating *JOY* in our lives, and living from within.
~Abraham "Hicks"
I saw this reminder, and I wanted to share it with you.
Today, I'm feeling that Love is cultivating *JOY* in our lives, and living from within.
Monday, January 11, 2010
Love School
The relationships in our lives are constantly evolving.
We never know how other people's experiences are fluctuating in relation to our selves.
So, things come up...
an energy arises from certain circumstances, a comment, a shift in someone's perspective.
When we keep things inside, they tend to build pressure, distort, become little monsters attacking our good sense.
So, it can be best to bring it to the attention of your loved ones if there is need to "clear the air."
I have had the most AMAZING fortune of being called upon recently by certain loved ones in my life to speak their truth with me. Receiving their thoughts, hearing about their experiences, and realizing that they are honoring themselves by getting it out in an honest manner, has been such a lesson for my heart/mind on holding space for each one of them, and learning so much about myself in the process.
It also gave me the chance to be completely OPEN with them as well, exploring that vulnerable territory, but feeling that they were holding space for me too.
My definition of Holding Space -btw- would be that it is a deep listening of all of our senses, without trying to offer anything else but a LOVING energy that allows the other person to feel that you are completely present with them, and thus, offering a safe space for them to be authentic.
Life is like a Love School.
Perhaps we're all students, learning to love ourselves, each other and our living planet. We're learning things like holding space and having clearings with those we love. I will be the first to admit that I feel like a kindergartner a lot of times when it comes to this! I have felt like such a beginner, especially recently. But I'm a hungry student, and I am fully enrolled in this school!!
LOVE is holding safe and sacred space for all people in our lives.
We never know how other people's experiences are fluctuating in relation to our selves.
So, things come up...
an energy arises from certain circumstances, a comment, a shift in someone's perspective.
When we keep things inside, they tend to build pressure, distort, become little monsters attacking our good sense.
So, it can be best to bring it to the attention of your loved ones if there is need to "clear the air."
I have had the most AMAZING fortune of being called upon recently by certain loved ones in my life to speak their truth with me. Receiving their thoughts, hearing about their experiences, and realizing that they are honoring themselves by getting it out in an honest manner, has been such a lesson for my heart/mind on holding space for each one of them, and learning so much about myself in the process.
It also gave me the chance to be completely OPEN with them as well, exploring that vulnerable territory, but feeling that they were holding space for me too.
My definition of Holding Space -btw- would be that it is a deep listening of all of our senses, without trying to offer anything else but a LOVING energy that allows the other person to feel that you are completely present with them, and thus, offering a safe space for them to be authentic.
Life is like a Love School.
Perhaps we're all students, learning to love ourselves, each other and our living planet. We're learning things like holding space and having clearings with those we love. I will be the first to admit that I feel like a kindergartner a lot of times when it comes to this! I have felt like such a beginner, especially recently. But I'm a hungry student, and I am fully enrolled in this school!!
LOVE is holding safe and sacred space for all people in our lives.
Friday, January 8, 2010
from me to me.
today, i spent hours looking for something...
something so irreplaceable that if i never find it, my heart will be broken for quite some time.
if i do find it...(totally a possibility:) my heart will promise to be eternally grateful, and do dances on the clouds!!!
i have been through so much these past many months and it seems now, the dust is finally settling.
there has been so much movement, and wonderful things have been happening in the past few weeks - a great surge of energy!
yet, today, was like the hitting a wall.
i lied in bed, feeling so sad, so lonely, and feeling like i'd give anything to get back what i can't seem to find right now.
i actually lied in bed, wishing i had someone to hold onto, someone to hold me.
then, i realized I'm not alone.
i have me. i have that place inside of me that is light and connected to all things.
there is true comfort and peace there.
and i can go there whenever i want to.
every single person has that light, that place, that connection to the divine - its actually all any of us really has in this life.
so today, love is that place i can go to when i feel alone.
love is a hug from me to me.
something so irreplaceable that if i never find it, my heart will be broken for quite some time.
if i do find it...(totally a possibility:) my heart will promise to be eternally grateful, and do dances on the clouds!!!
i have been through so much these past many months and it seems now, the dust is finally settling.
there has been so much movement, and wonderful things have been happening in the past few weeks - a great surge of energy!
yet, today, was like the hitting a wall.
i lied in bed, feeling so sad, so lonely, and feeling like i'd give anything to get back what i can't seem to find right now.
i actually lied in bed, wishing i had someone to hold onto, someone to hold me.
then, i realized I'm not alone.
i have me. i have that place inside of me that is light and connected to all things.
there is true comfort and peace there.
and i can go there whenever i want to.
every single person has that light, that place, that connection to the divine - its actually all any of us really has in this life.
so today, love is that place i can go to when i feel alone.
love is a hug from me to me.
Thursday, January 7, 2010
All of your days...
Matthew Wadleigh was a light and beautiful spirit who lived and loved for 30 years on this earth.
He was someone who truly engaged in the moments of each day with a sense of inner peace, joy, love and a grand respect for life.
Since his passing in early June 2009, his legacy is living on with an image he created during his life based on a vision he had to create a sign that simply read “LOVE.”
Matt was deeply and joyfully drawn to the music of the Dave Matthews Band for half of his life, and it was at Dave’s concerts that he would hold up his “LOVE” sign for the band and the rest of the audience to see.
It was a gesture of thanks to the band, as well as a declaration of all he felt inside his heart for the music, for this experience of life and for the true value of living in LOVE.
At his memorial, I was able to read a letter that Dave himself had written to all of Matt’s loved ones, as he remembered him fondly.
Also at the memorial that day, we handed out LoVE pins in his honor.
The Matthew Wadleigh Love Foundation was created by his family, and can be visited online at www.mylovesign.com. Here, you can purchase these pins as a donation to the Foundation which will award a loving and kind person in need a monetary gift each year.
I invite you to purchase your own LoVE pins for yourself and your community. It is my hope that in wearing a pin that says “LoVE” on it, you might feel what Matt felt as he held up his sign as an expression of what we’re all here for, to live a life of LoVE.
For many years, I had the complete honor and joy of being one of Matt’s best friends. Our friendship began through adventures in music and pondering life’s biggest questions together at a young age.
We continued to be there for each other through the many stages of life, and he always nurtured our connection in the most thoughtful and generous ways. I can very honestly say that Matt loved me more than any one friend ever has, and now in his passing, I see even more clearly how much there was to learn from him about love.
One of my earliest memories of us was when we were 15 yrs. old, and we were standing together one night, in the moonlight, gazing up and talking...thinking the same things out loud together...wondering about the same questions of our existence...and feeling the same joy and comfort of finding someone in life we could openly and safely dream all our biggest dreams with...
So, in honor of my beautiful friend, I will continue to live my dream, and continue to fulfill his dream...which was simply to spread the message of LoVE.
And with every day that he is gone, I am reminded more and more that we’re never truly gone, as each one of us becomes a real and true part of those we love.
So, for my first entry on this brand new blog, i will say...
Love is sharing.
Sharing our joy, our hearts, and our dreams.
He was someone who truly engaged in the moments of each day with a sense of inner peace, joy, love and a grand respect for life.
Since his passing in early June 2009, his legacy is living on with an image he created during his life based on a vision he had to create a sign that simply read “LOVE.”
Matt was deeply and joyfully drawn to the music of the Dave Matthews Band for half of his life, and it was at Dave’s concerts that he would hold up his “LOVE” sign for the band and the rest of the audience to see.
It was a gesture of thanks to the band, as well as a declaration of all he felt inside his heart for the music, for this experience of life and for the true value of living in LOVE.
At his memorial, I was able to read a letter that Dave himself had written to all of Matt’s loved ones, as he remembered him fondly.
Also at the memorial that day, we handed out LoVE pins in his honor.
The Matthew Wadleigh Love Foundation was created by his family, and can be visited online at www.mylovesign.com. Here, you can purchase these pins as a donation to the Foundation which will award a loving and kind person in need a monetary gift each year.
I invite you to purchase your own LoVE pins for yourself and your community. It is my hope that in wearing a pin that says “LoVE” on it, you might feel what Matt felt as he held up his sign as an expression of what we’re all here for, to live a life of LoVE.
For many years, I had the complete honor and joy of being one of Matt’s best friends. Our friendship began through adventures in music and pondering life’s biggest questions together at a young age.
We continued to be there for each other through the many stages of life, and he always nurtured our connection in the most thoughtful and generous ways. I can very honestly say that Matt loved me more than any one friend ever has, and now in his passing, I see even more clearly how much there was to learn from him about love.
One of my earliest memories of us was when we were 15 yrs. old, and we were standing together one night, in the moonlight, gazing up and talking...thinking the same things out loud together...wondering about the same questions of our existence...and feeling the same joy and comfort of finding someone in life we could openly and safely dream all our biggest dreams with...
So, in honor of my beautiful friend, I will continue to live my dream, and continue to fulfill his dream...which was simply to spread the message of LoVE.
And with every day that he is gone, I am reminded more and more that we’re never truly gone, as each one of us becomes a real and true part of those we love.
So, for my first entry on this brand new blog, i will say...
Love is sharing.
Sharing our joy, our hearts, and our dreams.
Hello, 2010.
You're a new year, a new decade, a new possibility for us...
And I have opened my arms up wide to embrace you, to love your moments...not to hold them, but to allow them to unfold...in love.
Love is...
the title of my new blog.
Here, I will ponder, explore, and question what love is...
What does love mean to you?
What do you think of, see, feel when you see or say the word, Love?
I realize maybe this has been done before -
there's the cartoon called LOVE IS... if you've never seen it, its adorable.
maybe this concept even exists on many a blog out there (?)
but I thought i'd put this out there in the hopes that you share your stories, thoughts, feelings, pictures about Love...
like a community bulletin board...maybe?
its worth a try.
2009 tucked me away from all of you for a while. I apologize. But, sometimes we must go through these chapters in life so we can surface again with a deeper sense of who we are. As i emerge in this new year, i want to bring with me a way to connect with you again. Perhaps this page will be another avenue for that.
2009 was also the year I lost my best friend, Matt.
His great spirit moved on from us to another realm, though what he gave in his life and what he left behind is so beautiful, it constantly brings tears of amazement to my eyes.
The idea for this blog came primarily from being inspired by him, and so I'd like to share with you the story of my amazing friend...
And I have opened my arms up wide to embrace you, to love your moments...not to hold them, but to allow them to unfold...in love.
Love is...
the title of my new blog.
Here, I will ponder, explore, and question what love is...
What does love mean to you?
What do you think of, see, feel when you see or say the word, Love?
I realize maybe this has been done before -
there's the cartoon called LOVE IS... if you've never seen it, its adorable.
maybe this concept even exists on many a blog out there (?)
but I thought i'd put this out there in the hopes that you share your stories, thoughts, feelings, pictures about Love...
like a community bulletin board...maybe?
its worth a try.
2009 tucked me away from all of you for a while. I apologize. But, sometimes we must go through these chapters in life so we can surface again with a deeper sense of who we are. As i emerge in this new year, i want to bring with me a way to connect with you again. Perhaps this page will be another avenue for that.
2009 was also the year I lost my best friend, Matt.
His great spirit moved on from us to another realm, though what he gave in his life and what he left behind is so beautiful, it constantly brings tears of amazement to my eyes.
The idea for this blog came primarily from being inspired by him, and so I'd like to share with you the story of my amazing friend...
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